Last week I had to move house and my word it was boring! But as I was going along I thought “This could be so much worse if I was having to deal with some of these houses!”. Which is why I thought we should look at just a few of the most annoying or just bad houses in gaming. But, for the sake of optimism in these stranges times, we’re going to balance it with some of the nicest houses in gaming too.
The Witch’s House – God of War (BEST)
Who wouldn’t want to live here?! Kratos visits the Witch’s home several times across the 2018 addition to the franchise. Its a modest hut situated in a hidden part of the forest which, particularly with the PS5 update, looks stunning. But this is no ordinary hut, no, this one is carried by a huge turtle named Chaurli. So whenever the Witch doesn’t feel like entertaining, he just lowers himself down and hides the front door. This place also comes with an extensive underground cave system filled with cool stuff. You can get God of Warhere.
Hell House – Final Fantasy VII Remake (WORST)
Now, this is not a piece of real estate I would want to add to any portfolio… The house is in fact just a shell that hides a three-armed mechanical creature moved by four legs and a set of mismatched thrusters. Its particularly unnerving to look at in the remake.
It also packs quite a punch and is found during the Underground Colosseum mission in Chapter Nine. The house takes basically no physical damage and instead you have to exploit elemental weaknesses. Kind of like if you tried to punch your own house nothing happens, but a burst pipe is absolutely going to ruin your day! You can buy Final Fantasy VII Remakehere.
Edith’s Home – What Remains of Edith Finch (BEST)
I know I try to shoehorn Edith into everything I write (see here) but come on, this house is amazing. There is so much story to this home that I’m not sure where to even begin. Each room belongs to a different member of the Finch family all the way back to the ancestors who first came to North America. They are beautifully personalised to fit their owner and, as more family members were born, so more rooms were added to the building. As you can tell from the image above, they got quite creative towards the end with where they put an extension.
This house is probably the best on the list (in my opinion) because it is so intrinsic to the narrative and also helps tell so much of the story without dialogue. A lot of this is better noticed in a second playthrough like the stacks of fish cans in the kitchen that symbolise Lewis’ story you encounter later. You can get What Remains of Edith Finchhere.
The Tower – Professor Layton and the Curious Village (WORST)
This next house on the list looks like a twisted version of Edith’s home. It appears in the original Professor Layton game The Curious Village. Looking above much of the game, it also emits strange noises periodically that freak out St Mystere’s residents. Given how cute and welcoming the rest of the town is, the tower definitely stands out. There’s no way it would pass a safety inspection either!
The reason I put this house in gaming on the worst list is because of it’s contents. The puzzles in this section are ridiculously infuriating and the hints barely help. My poor eight year old self had no clue and also had not learnt to cheat and look up the answers on the internet yet. So me and this tower got really acquainted. You can purchase original Professor Layton and the Curious Village on the Nintendo DS here
Your House – Animal Crossing: New Horizons (BEST)
Now I have probably clocked close to 400 hours on this game since its release last year. So I have got very fond of this addition to our list. What’s wonderful is that no two houses will ever be alike. You can choose what it looks like outside and in becoming very house-proud in the process. It also brings us the realism of managing a mortgage – although if it was as easy as selling fruit and finding fossils in the real world, I think we’d have all paid them off long ago!
Animal Crossing: New Horizons is still number one in the UK charts and it’s no surprise with the effort that has gone into every aspect. The house is surprisingly spacious. Seriously, Tom Nook adds a whole room on the side (overnight I might add) and the outside floor space increases by barely a few feet. you can get Animal Crossing: New Horizons here, for the Nintendo Switch-inspired version of the game check here.
Trevor’s Trailer – Grand Theft Auto V (WORST)
As houses in gaming go, this last one is pretty bad. Particularly when compared with the luxury of other main characters’ homes. The best comparison I have found is of how much it would cost to build a life scale model out of Lego. Franklin’s House would cost almost £3 million with over 28 million bricks. Poor old Trevor’s place would take a measly 4 million bricks and cost $431,400.
To be fair, with a coat of paint, a few potted plants, and a new awning, the place would look much more inviting. Although given someone has tried to tidy up once before and it didn’t last long, I think Trevor is probably too set in his ways to change. You can get GTA V for only $18 here, for GTA V Premium Editioncheck here & here (buy the game & support a charity link).
That’s all from me for today. Did I miss any of your favorites? Which of these houses in gaming did you love (or hate) the most?Let us know in the comments.